I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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