i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night