wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.