Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.