and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
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Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
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Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!