3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
