I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
