do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
