HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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