If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
