We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
