Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
