those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
