I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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