My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
