another moral hangover. fuck.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
