Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
4 words: hood of his car
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
