A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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