one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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