We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Sober January is a disaster.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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