bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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