At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
