I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
