I want to stick my p in your. b.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
