I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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