I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
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I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
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painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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