How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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