i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
