how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
How external is "for external use only"?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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