I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
