Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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