matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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