4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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