thus making me awesome and them whores
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
