How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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