Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
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After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
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Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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