a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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