His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
