there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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