I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
