Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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