jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize