You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
