So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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