I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
