remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I could fuck to npr.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
