At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
