I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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