i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
