im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
