I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
