He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
