Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
