someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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