i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize