she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
