don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
