Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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