Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Shame - the story of my life.
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