just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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