I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
