On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
